3 Tips for Juggling Your Marriage and Children

Nurturing relationships take a lot of work. But what happens when you and your spouse bring a child into the relationship. How does that affect how much time and energy you can give your significant other?

For some couples, children have always been in the picture. It is not uncommon for couples to bring their children from a previous relationship into a marriage. For other couples, they may have just welcomed a new child.

Whichever best describes your situation, studies show that in the first year of marriage, satisfaction with your partner can decline. Shockingly, research also shows that the rate of decline can be greater for couples who have children. It is even greater if the pregnancy was not planned.

Why would this be the case?

1.       Dynamics of the household change.

2.       Mommies burn out.

3.       Parents become child centered.

Whether it be friendships, family, or even your marriage, you get from relationships what you put into them—right? But now the extra time and energy you once had is filled with caring for children.  It can be and is often difficult to cultivate “couple” time.  That does not mean it is impossible but it does require intentional planning and maybe even some sacrifice.

Simple things to ease the challenges of parenthood and marriage.

Date night

This sounds like a no-brainer… “of course we would love a date night.” If you do not have the means to take a night a month to go out, then stay in. After you put the kids to bed, make some snack and grab a bottle of wine for a movie night. Be intentional about how you spend your time together without the kids.

Complement each other

This one also sounds simple, doesn’t it? But think about it, how often do you give your spouse an unsolicited complement? If you really want a challenge, check out The Love Dare. It is a 40 day journey to foster your marital relationship.

Pick your battles

Again, simple right? Until you are up to your neck with work and the baby is crying, and that one thing your spouse does sends you over the edge. It sounds easier said than done but take 30 seconds for a few deep breaths. The onus should not always be on one person, of course, but your blood pressure will thank you for it.

If you incorporate these three simple activities into your marriage, let us know how it works for you.